who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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