Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
and you said cock pushups were impossible
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
