I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
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