I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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