so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
Randomize
