Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
false alarm. still invincible.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Randomize
