This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
meet me or not, i'm out of control
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Randomize
