does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
