Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I'm sobbing to NWA
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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