I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
