he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize