i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
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