Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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