Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Randomize
