i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
All the doctor said was why
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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