Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
