life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Randomize
