we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
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