I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Randomize
