I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Randomize