***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
