Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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