After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
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