ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
