So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
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