I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
