what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
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