So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
