just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Randomize
