Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
