garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Operation Purity has been aborted
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
