so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
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