I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
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