We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
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