I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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