I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
