I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
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