OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize
