Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
