Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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