i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Randomize
