Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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