I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
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