M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
