belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
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