make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Randomize
