he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Randomize
