Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
