is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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