okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
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