nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
You made out with two different species that night
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
