i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Randomize
