I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
Randomize
