i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize