i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Randomize
