Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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