He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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