You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
