Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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