Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
