We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize