I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
