butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
