Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
