I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Randomize